082 -Self Love vs Self Harm

How do you love yourself? Why does self love matter? Did Jesus teach mindset?

How do you love yourself? Why does self love matter? Did Jesus teach mindset? And what did He mean when He said narrow is the way or do unto others?

This week we are talking about the value of self love and showing others self love. We also talk about what it means to inflict “self harm” and how self harm is much more than just a physical action. We talk about depression, suicide, and how we can better view our mental health through our faith perspective. 

Last week was suicide prevention week. We had it on our hearts to address this topic, not to talk about loss or death but to focus on life. When we focus our gaze away from death and onto life, we begin to see life manifest around us.


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Elaine Johnston 1:34
We’re talking about all kinds of things. As I feel like most of the time, whenever we have our so episodes, we kind of talk about a lot of topics, and then kind of bring them together. But specifically, today, this week, we are talking about just the scriptures where it talks about, you’re following your heart or not following your heart. And just a lot of times how people have this notion that our hearts to deceitful and stuff like that. But also we are touching on suicide, and a little bit about how there are people who call themselves pastors or preachers who stand on the street corner, and just completely blast theme, God’s original message of love and just shun people on the streets. And so just kind of encompassing all of those different topics together.

Cody Johnston 2:27
Yes. So I know some of you who follow concurrently with the show are thinking, Hey, we were supposed to be doing a series, we are still doing this series, we’re having to circle back we had a couple scheduling conflicts. So keep tuned for the future. Because we do have more episodes. Regarding LGBT q plus in the church, we want to make sure we handle this conversation properly and gracefully. So thank you for your patience on that as we as we make sure we have adequate information, and adequate people just share their hearts. So just a quick little thing there. Also, there’s a lot that has happened over the last couple of weeks that we’re going to be talking about in this episode, some real life experiences. If you are a part of nomads, you’re going to kind of like already have a little bit of inside info on this because there’s a video there, that tying into exactly what we’re going to be talking about today. So if you’re not a part of nomads, a safe community for Christians ask unsafe questions, head down to the show notes below. And click that link and ask to be a part we would love to have you there. Because this is not about two people behind a microphone. This is about a community of people coming together to be able to be vulnerable and honest with each other, and who are just trying to figure out who Christ is to each and every one of us individually. So with that, let’s get right into this conversation talking about Street Preachers suicide, and overall, the church’s view on self trust and self love. Here comes.

So this last week was Suicide Prevention Week. And we didn’t have anything planned to specifically talk about with Suicide Prevention Week with Jared Wilson is that’s the gentleman’s name, who actually I don’t know if you guys heard this, I’m sure you have at this point. And it’s going around everywhere. But Jared Wilson, he was a very he was a minister. He was a huge advocate started a nonprofit, to help with depression, because he struggled with suicidal thoughts before he struggled with depression. He was a father, he was a husband. He was a minister and he and his wife led this nonprofit, he took his life. And it’s a very heartfelt thing. And it I feel like it is making the church evaluate a lot of their mental health principles, things we’ve talked about, for a very long time. It’s a very hot thing right now to talk about just the churches neglect of mental health. And I do feel like we’re getting better at that. So I’m not sitting here talking church in this regard, that I don’t want you to take it that way, I actually do feel like there is a movement of people who are bringing this to the limelight. And I feel like the new normal is actually talking about mental health, just some of the things I’ve seen and people that I’ve heard. So I’m not this is not a dog on the church episode at all. If anything, I feel like this is coming to the forefront. And people are starting to deal with this from both a spiritual and a psychological side, which in my opinion, is the proper balance, because you do need both. There is a very spiritual side to this. And there’s also obviously a very real, tangible psychological side to this. So I think we’re doing a better job. But when with Jared suicide, I think it definitely some of the conversation we’ve had, it’s very interesting. We have a member of our community, who was talking about how this one just hit so close to home because it’s the first time he had seen someone that was so pumped in open about his struggles commit suicide, most of the time, whenever people commit suicide, it’s more something that’s kept in the dark, it’s more something that’s not talked about openly, it’s not something that is brought to the forefront all the time. Or they their people will know of their struggles, but they don’t actively discuss it all the time. But this was a man who built an entire foundation to help people going through depression to help people who have suicidal thoughts. He was a an individual who fought for the betterment of people. And sadly, this is a very real scenario. It a lot of ministers I know of a lot of ministers who have struggled with depression. I don’t know if you’ve ever heard of Levi Levi, the poet, but his father was a minister, correct? I believe so. And he committed suicide. Fighting with depression, like this is a very real thing that is going on. And I don’t want to sit here and reminisce or this stuff, how was this episode is for. But we do want to address a couple things. And just as a quick disclaimer, here, Elaine and I really feel in our heart that as we move forward, we are going to focus so much more on the positive. And that is one thing that we’re I’m bringing that up because it’s something that I really want to talk about today as well. But there is extreme power, in our words and in our actions. You know, Jesus taught about mindset, more than pretty much anything, everything he taught was faith and mindset, right. And so the power of your words is an active principle of, of the Bible. If you look, Jesus says you can do all that I can he commands demons was a single word go to leave he command sickness was a single word to lead like Jesus was a man of action. And so he focused primary and there’s this huge notion. And I know I’m kind of snowballing here a little bit like it’s called, it’s all kind of building up to what we’re talking about. There’s this huge misnomer, where people throw around Oh, Jesus talks way more about hell than he talked about heaven. That is simply not true. It’s not it’s not a at all what Jesus taught about. As a matter of fact, Jesus mentions death, hell, Hades. She’ll go Hannah, however you want to like word it just anything about death less than 60 times. And he mentions life and heaven and eternity, over 190 times close to 200 times. So literally, almost four times as much did he talk about life over death. And if we’re to model like Jesus, I think that gives us a good starting place. Because a lot of times, and like I said, we’re not sitting here, we don’t want to be negative, I’m just bringing to light this right here. A lot of times, we talk more about the negative than the positive, we spend more time focused on death than we do focused on life, we choose not to do something because of the negative consequences instead of thinking. If I do this, then the positive consequences, right, we use a fear based method of teaching. And most of the time, like whenever we sit down to think I’m going to do X, Y, and Z, or I’m not going to do X y&z if you think to yourself, like, oh, there’s this thing, I could do this, but all these negative things are going to come with it. Instead, we don’t stop and say, Oh, if I don’t do this, think of all the positives that will come from not attributing to this negative action. So we, we filter everything, like, am I going to do this, we always think of our pain, right? Anyway, feel free to chime in anytime here. But like, we always think of our pain. It’s like if I do if I go and I perform this action, how much of myself? Am I having to give up? What am I going to lose? What do I have? I mean, think about it. That’s the whole phrase, what do you have to lose? instead? What if we shifted and started thinking of what do we have to gain? What do what what positive energy Do we have to put into the world and start filtering thing is, I’m just I’m on the forefront of this here. So like, I’m right here with you. It’s not an easy thing. But instead, it’s like, Hey, I’m going to go invest my time with this group of people think of all the positive that is going to come from that. And sure, there’s times to think about negative like, I’m not saying we can ever think about negative, I’m just saying that we have been taught so much to just focus on negative and I have a story that we’re going to kind of use to transition into this, I’m going to give you a chance to talk

Elaine Johnston 10:22
to going based on what Cody said that was the heart and soul of what the reckless pursuit was. Yes, it’s to have conversations about problems and struggles and kind of see how we can fix it. But more so focusing on the life and the positive attributes, and really honing in on those things that we can do daily, to help spread the message of hope and love and open up the conversation to those Give, give a voice to the people who have been shunned for voicing their questions and, and their thoughts and experiences. And so I just want to preface like any conversation that we had, have or have had, the sole purpose is to bring life into it is to speak life into it, and just create a community of people coming together with their conversations and their questions. And so it’s never, you know, Cody said this episode, we’re not bashing church. Well, I would hope that no episode we’re bashing church, I would hope that no episode we’re bashing anything. But instead that we are bringing life and speaking life and giving a place for people to come together who have felt like they were bashed themselves from their communities. And it’s not just the religious communities, but also their family and friends and even workplace and stuff like that. And so just letting people have a conversation with the sole purpose of love and understanding. And even if you don’t agree all the time, that’s okay. It’s okay to disagree. It’s not okay. to not try to understand those are new to not try to love those because we are called one to love God and to brothers.

Cody Johnston 12:00
Yeah. And so as you’re saying this, and for those listening, when he landed, I said down to the solo episodes, we have outlines, we have ideas for where we want to go. But we allow the conversation to be very free and very open. And so something that just kind of came to me and I think I’m going to title the episode. This is self love versus self harm. And I kind of want to preface that by saying like self harm is a lot of time views is viewed as physical, but it’s much more than physical, right? self harm is much, much more than physical. And so Jesus came to teach self love, not self harm. So we’re going to kind of that was a big eye opener, right? We’re already quite always into this episode. But I want to kind of open up the rest of this conversation, or I guess the door in which we were originally trying to get through to get into the room of conversation that we were going to have here is this. We were downtown. I think it was two weeks ago, two weekends ago now at this point. And there was a gentleman standing on a box with a speaker, a GoPro and a GoPro filming everyone who walked by telling everyone they’re going to help

Elaine Johnston 13:02
not if they repent, not if they haven’t done this, or if they haven’t said that prayer, just pointed to complete strangers and their families said they were going to hell and that they were not Christians.

Cody Johnston 13:14
And so I walked by the first time and he asked me a question. He said, Do you know where you’re going to spend eternity? I said, Yes, sir. I do. And he said, I don’t think you do. You’re destined for hell. And it. Okay, I’m not a very confrontational person. But go ahead. And

Elaine Johnston 13:29
what’s funny is that, you know, I was there too. We were walking Doppler because the next day we were going to go to Comic Con. So we were just like, Okay, well, we know that we’re going to be gone all day. So

Cody Johnston 13:41
I actually went there to pre register. Skip the line the next day. So

Elaine Johnston 13:44
we are pre registering for Comic Con. We’re like, what the heck, we’re going to be gone all day, you know, the next day. So we’re like, okay, we’re going to walk her dog because we love her dog. And we care about her dog. So we’re downtown, walking your dog, and we’re crossing the street. We’re about to cross the street. And I remember like you snarky saying something along the lines of like, do you or something like that. And we were waiting for the light to turn. I guess white for the

Unknown Speaker 14:13
crosswalk to show up.

Elaine Johnston 14:15
Yeah, right hand. And so we were just kind of like, what the heck, I did we have to walk past this. We were just trying to enjoy your night. This is like 8pm 7pm Yeah, it was like it was dark. So yeah. And so we had our dog. And I remember like turning around just trying to listen to what this guy was saying. As we were waiting for the light. And this guy, I think he was on his bike or one of those like scooter line scooters. But I remember he was like, does anyone know? Or like that of like, does anyone truly know how they’re going to end up? And I just remember, like, what I don’t even know. And so I was just like, okay, but Cody’s over here, like getting fired up mentally. And he just like, and so we cross the street. And he’s like, let’s watch.

Cody Johnston 15:01
Yeah, so I’m sitting there. And there was two women who were coming by him. They were lesbian couple. And I just remember their interaction with this man, and just him tearing them up. And I felt so heartbroken for them those two those two women and as they cross the street, I just asked them, I’m like, hey, like, what do you think of this? Like I couldn’t I heard their voice. I heard their tone. I heard what they thought I was just getting more and more mad. And I watched another couple walk by with a kid. And the same thing over and over and over, you’re destined for hell, you’re destined for help. And at some point, I had to go back and approach this man. And he was filming everyone. And so I filmed as well, because that’s, I mean, that’s respectable, I would think like, I’m not going to film them if he wasn’t filming me. But he was filming me. So I filmed him. And we had an honest conversation. And I asked him, and I asked him, like, do you think you’re doing anything to help promote the gospel, explain to me your case, I was mad, I’m not going to sit here and say, I wasn’t mad. I did my best to be as respectful as I could. He told me that I was going to hell. Because he and I were in disagreement. And because he was a Christian, you cannot disagree with someone who is a Christian and be a Christian. So that’s forth. I was not a Christian.

Elaine Johnston 16:17
Well, and he specifically was standing right outside of this music venue, or I don’t remember if it was a rapper, or a rock band or somebody, but it was it’s an it’s an open bar. Like we’ve seen a Christian concert there before. And even then they had an open bar, but he was specifically yelling at those people, but also anybody walking past, but his major frustration was with this music venue.

Cody Johnston 16:41
And so I was sitting there talking to him, and he was telling me, I was going to hell, and I was doing my message on my Hey, man, I understand. Like, we’re not in an accord here with some of this. But I’m just like, hey, just like, I understand. I’m not against your box here. You’re preaching which I mean, I am but like, I’m trying to be careful with this man. Because I don’t I’m not sitting here trying to. I’m mad, but I don’t want to womb this man. I don’t know what this guy’s been through. I don’t know what I asked him, like, what his upbringing was and such like that, because he was asking me about, like, what I knew about the Bible. So I was asking him, and he’s, you know, of course, he’s talking into a loudspeaker on a box looking down at me for this whole conversation. He never gets, never gets down and talks to me. Like, why,

Elaine Johnston 17:22
and his child are just like, looking.

Cody Johnston 17:25
So sad. They’re not even allowed to speak. No. Um, and so anyway, I’m talking to him. And he’s asking me like, what my ring is what I’m telling him, you know, I told him, like, my past, or whatever, in ministry, and he tells me, he grew up in a conservative Christian home. So he’s been around the Bible his whole life. And so he’s literally throwing out these things that like, make so many of us. And if you’re listening to this show, I’m sure these kind of words are just like sickening words, just like get in that pit of your stomach and just make you may come from a place of hurt, like a lot of us have been hurt by these words. And I just felt bad for the guy, because he’s grown up. And this is all he’s probably known. He’s been taught this way of life, his whole life. And so I’m sure trying to be respectful of him. And he’s not really getting it. And that’s okay. Because that wasn’t my method. All I wanted to do is stop him from telling people they’re going to hell. And the reason is, because if we as Christians, and he represents Christianity, even though many of us would argue like, an in know, like, you cannot judge someone and tell them, they’re going to hell, you have no right to do that. Like, even though many of us listening to this right now would say, absolutely. That’s not Christian, that is not a Christian thing to do at all. He’s still representing Christ, even if he is a false prophet is a false prophet can be I’m not even claiming he’s that. Even if he’s, you know, the Antichrist himself, he’s still representing the word, Christ, which is why so many of us have come to be like, sickened by the term Christian, right? Because it carries such a negative connotation. And so all I was trying to say, Hey, man, like, repentance is one thing. If you want to sit here preach repentance, like, I may still not agree with your method. But at least that’s one thing that you cannot just tell people, they’re burning in hell. And the conversation ended. While he was griping out everyone going to the bar and said, if you’ve ever walked into that bar, then you’re going to hell even though the guy that was with him, went in there and handed out church tracks. I don’t understand that whole thing at all. But I guess he was accepted. I don’t know. I guess he had a, some kind of like, spiritual, like one up on everyone else. I don’t, I don’t know what that was about. And then he kind of followed up with saying, like, well, if I tell someone, they’re going to hell, and they’re a Christian, they won’t be offended by that. And I’m like, I’m offended by that. I’m sorry. Like, I’m offended if you’re just telling random people because I care about their like, that’s not doing anything for them.

Elaine Johnston 19:42
Well, and one of the biggest problems that I had with this guy Now, mind you, this whole confrontation, I was there and I was present, but it was not directly towards me when I even when we first walked. Yeah, he said it, you know, openly to me, too, but I never actually had a question with the sky, nor did I have a conversation with his wife, or anybody else involved. But I was there because like I said, we were there that night anyway. And one of the biggest things that really, like, irritated me with his message was, or the way his message was, was, whenever Cody said, Hey, I get your message. I agree, God’s great, whatever, I’m not denying your that you’re a Christian. I’m not denying the Bible. I’m not denying all this stuff. But maybe change your words or change your wording, change the presentation that you’re giving, instead of saying, you’re going to hell, why don’t you have a conversation with these people? Or why don’t you you do it out of love and say, Hey, God loves you? and not have Do you know, where you’re ending up? But just Hey, like, how can I pray for you? Or, hey, like, I have this feeling that something’s going on? Can I pray for you? Or can I? Can I tell you a piece of Scripture that really, absolutely uplifts me, whatever. And his first question is, like, what does God ever does God love everyone? And I was just like, yes, he

Cody Johnston 21:05
was like, Yes. And he’s like, Well, basically went on to say that God doesn’t love everyone because they’re sinners. And God doesn’t love you if you’re a sinner. And I was like, Oh, my word, what. And that’s where my heart broke for this. But my body was shaking, what what is a man have to go through in his life, to receive such a view of God that if he is not perfect, in the eyes of his church, or in the eyes of his parents, or his conservative upbringing, or whatever it is, that God hates him, and like, I felt so bad, he’s portraying this to other people. And this is the whole hurt people hurt people this goes into what we’re talking about, is self love versus self harm. This man is harming himself and he’s harming other selves, the other people around him by forcing this like anger, because that’s all he knows. And so the reason why I’m even bringing this up, is it kind of ties into this, there were a man, I’m gonna leave his name anonymous for this. But he came up with a sign, they basically just had my god loves. And he was standing across from this gentleman. And he was just showing it to people as they walked by when he would tell them only when he would tell them, they’re going to hell. And this other woman who came up and she, she was a lesbian woman as well. She came up, and she was being told some terrible things by this man. And she was being run into the ground by this man. And this gentleman held up the sign. And she turned around, ran and grabbed this man’s neck and said, Thank you for showing me on loved and my heart broke. My heart absolutely melted. Because this woman just wanted to know that God loved her. Now, what do you think is planting a seed in anyone’s life? someone saying that you’re going to hell, you’re going to hell, you’re burning self judging like that, or saying, God loves you, right where you’re at. God loves everything about you. And I know a lot of people would say, well, there’s things in people that God doesn’t love. Sin isn’t nature, which we had a whole episode on this not too long ago. Sin is in nature, it’s a mentality. And you can either choose to live in the sin or you can choose to live in love, and love is God. And so, Jesus is a teacher of mindset and tying this all I’m a suicide. I’ve been asked a few times this week, do people they commit suicide? Do they go to heaven? That is a hard, hard question. And so many people have been taught that if you commit suicide, you’re going to hell, I had a gentleman Call me when I was a pastor. And this was the hardest phone call I have ever received. And I’ve received a phone call saying my mother was found dead. I have received numerous hard phone calls, right? This phone call was the hardest phone call I ever received. Because it caught me completely off guard. And it was someone I did not know. And I talked to the man himself. And I got a phone call. I was the only one in the office. No other pastors in the office, it was just me. I was like, 20 years old, 21 maybe. And so I get this phone call. I answer it. And it is this man, a very frail San sounding man. And he asked to speak to the Minister president at the church. And I said, Well, sir, I’m the only minister here I’ll do my best to help you. And he said, I found your your name and a phone book at random. He said, I opened the phone book and found the first church down the listing. And he said, I’m calling you. He said, I live in Northwest Arkansas, which is about three hours from where we are at. He said, I live in Northwest Arkansas. I’m not a very well educated man, I do my best to read the Bible. And I love Jesus. He said, I have stage four terminal cancer, I’m in extreme pain, nothing I take will help me and I’m going to die within six months. He said, If I kill myself, Why go to hell because I don’t want to be here anymore. And I broke. And I tried to comfort this guy the best I could. And I told him, I said, you know, God loves you. And if you’re here, I truly believe you have a purpose. I truly believe there’s a reason you’re still breathing. I truly, truly believe that God is capable. And even if you’re going to die in six months, that up until that point of your last breath, you have a purpose, and you have a reason for taking it. You have a reason for taking every single breath. And I told him, I said, I do not believe that you’re destined for hell, whatever you choose, but just know that life, and choosing life is always a better answer. But I think God loves you bigger than whatever mistakes we make. And I do believe suicide is a mistake. But I think God’s love is bigger. He said, Thank you so much. And I offered to have other ministers call him people who, honestly, I hadn’t been in ministry very long when I talked to the guy, you know, and I was like, I can have someone else. He said, No, that won’t be necessary. And I never heard from him again. He hung up. And I never heard from him again. And I don’t know if he took his life. I do not know know if I don’t know if he was miraculously healed. I don’t know anything. I offered to pray with him. And he said that won’t be necessary and hung up the phone. And it was the hardest phone call. And I still remember it vividly to this day. And the reason I remember it is because a like that’s a very hard thing to have that be i when i when he hung up the phone, my first reaction was like shocked like, Wow, I can’t believe I just had a conversation with someone like that. That is not what I expected to have when I’m sitting here like making random graphics for a sermon for the youth group. And be I really just asked myself, if I were in his shoes, what would the answer I would want to be. And I started thinking of my loved ones and how they would want every minute they could have with me. But at the same time, if he’s suffering, he is hurting so, so much he’s in physical agony. He’s being tormented. The idea of heaven, the idea of an escape is so promising. I just, I couldn’t sit there and Damn that man to hell, all I could do is tell him life is worth living. I truly believe life is worth living, you have a purpose here. And for anyone listening who’s had suicidal thoughts, you have a purpose, you are worth it. You are, God is a God bigger than depression. He’s bigger than all of these things. There’s nothing wrong with seeking out counseling. There’s nothing wrong with seeking out heart. There’s nothing wrong with any of this. And and you’re we’re here for you like you have a purpose. But also for those who have taken their lives or people that have had someone who’ve taken their lives. I’m not encouraging anyone to do this by any means. I just want you to realize that But no, I don’t think those people just send us to hell because it takes an extremely bad mental state to take your own life. It takes an extremely downtrodden mental state to do such a thing. It is truly a sickness. And it’s something that I think that we put off the wage so much. And we put this weight on people, that they have to have everything right and perfect, and they don’t. We put this weight on people saying that

you’re the reason for your mental illness, you’re the reason for your sickness, and you’re not in God’s mindset. It’s just the power of mindset, the power of Christ, who came to teach us the renewing of your thoughts, right. And we have an episode coming out really soon with Todd Vic, it’s literally all about this is the renewing of your mind. It’s a scientific principle, it’s a spiritual principle, it’s in the Bible, be transformed by the renewing of your mind. Well, a lot of the principles Jesus taught weren’t on. They weren’t about heaven, they were about heaven on earth. And that’s why we’ve got to spend so much more time focused on life.

Elaine Johnston 28:45
And that’s where the conversation has to start happening about mental health and mental illnesses, and, and depression and suicidal tendencies and all these things without the judgment without the just hatred. And if people are hurting, you know, one of the biggest things that I feel that the church needs to, I guess, I don’t know if own up to is the correct term, because that sounds so negative. But a couple weeks ago, I actually wrote a blog post about how sometimes there is an alternative to church know, sometimes mental health isn’t a spiritual thing. Sometimes the depression and suicidal tendencies and thoughts aren’t, because we like prayer or a lack of community or a lack of reading the Bible, sometimes it’s it’s deeper, and most of the times, it’s a lot deeper and more psychological, and more scientific than just Oh, I should be praying because a lot of these people are praying, a lot of these people are reading the Bible and actively going to church and being around communities of people, but they’re hurting and they have specific thing specific lies, you know, that they’re being told or that they feel. And a lot of times, church leaders and religion, push the well you should be pray more, or do you have any Unforgiven sin? Or do you? Are you reading your Bible? Do you actively go to church? And like I said, a lot of times they are doing those things, but they still have these issues. And you know, I wrote a blog post a couple weeks ago about sometimes you need an alternative, you know, church, pastors and leadership, most of the time are not trained, do not have the education and the background to fully help people with their mindset fully help people with their mental health and mental illnesses. Yes, I believe that spirituality is strong, I do believe in the power of prayer, I do believe and surrounding yourself with people who love you. And I do believe that God can heal and that God is good and, and all of those things are important and necessary and powerful, I believe. But I also believe that science and medicine or education or other practices are equally and I feel sometimes more important than just if you’re reading your Bible. And there are a lot of things that pastors are not trained to help with. pastors are trained for the most part, to help with the spiritual aspect. And some of them may be trained educationally to handle mental health. But that’s why you have pastors and you also have therapists, you also have psychologists, you also have doctors, people who are trained for these things. And I know one of the biggest pressures of people who are going through depression r1 not praying enough, or I need to read my Bible, or I just really need to have more faith, but there’s some some things. I don’t believe that there’s something more than more powerful than faith. But I do believe that there are things that are equal to faith. And the reason why I say that is because I remember my senior year here of high school, it was on April Fool’s Day, we’re about to graduate. And there was this kid that I wasn’t super close to, but I interacted with him several times had classes with them. You know, everybody loved him. He was this good Southern country boy, you know, Christian, super sweet, super loving, always there for other people, super active in his church. And on April Fool’s Day, a month before we were supposed to graduate, he took his own life. And nobody would have ever thought that he was capable of that, or that he had these thoughts, because he was so loving, because he was, you know, we had an active prayer circle that we had in high school that we did every Wednesday at lunchtime. Oftentimes, he led this prayer circle, and he still took his own life, there were more things that he was dealing with, than just going to church and being a good person and loving other people. And I really feel like if he had a therapist or psychologist or a doctor, or people who were trained at educationally to also be taking care of them, as well, as a pastor, I believe it’s a balance of faith and spirituality. But a lot of times we focus too much on the faith part.

Cody Johnston 33:11
Well, that reminds me of, I believe, was Robin Williams, who took his own life not too long. It was a little while. Yeah, no, but one of the things that Robin Williams had said, I’m not quoting this word for word, but it’s something along the lines of oftentimes, those who shows the most compassion or love or try to make people happy, are the ones hurting themselves, because they know what it’s like to not have that. And so like, it’s something I’d say, yeah, it hides in plain sight. And, and so that’s kind of what just to sum this up here. You have self love, and you have self harm, self harm is more than suicide, self harm is more than cutting your wrists like, you know, that was a huge thing when we were growing Honestly, I guess it’s kind of had a bit of a resurgence recently, self harm is so much more than burning your skin or inflicting self wounds. It’s the mental abuse of I’m not good enough. I’m not worth the

Elaine Johnston 34:04
dirty rag mentality. And I’m

Cody Johnston 34:06
going to read a couple of Bible verses real quick here that are commonly tossed around. And I just want you to see how they’re followed up. Okay. These are some of these verses that are used as like bashing verses, right? Romans 323, for all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. Right? You hear that Bible verse used as a bashing Bible verse. But we don’t take like the Bible is always always always redemptive. Okay, first 24, and all are justified freely by his grace through the redemption that came by Christ Jesus, all are justified freely by his grace. We may have fallen short, mankind may have fallen, but it’s no longer fallen. It is redeemed it is no longer falling history Romans five eight while we were still sinners, Christ died for us. Okay, for one like that’s like, Oh, yeah, we’re not that centers. Okay. We’re keyword while we were sinners, Christ died for us post death, or not sinners anymore. Okay. Since therefore, if you keep reading verse nine, since therefore we have now been justified by His blood, much more shall we be saved by him from the wrath of God, we are saved from wrath. For if while we were enemies, we were reconciled to God by the death of his son much more now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life. More than that we also rejoice in God through our Lord Jesus Christ, through whom we have now received reconciliation. It’s the whole prodigal son, we left but we are brought back in it’s the lost sheep, the lost coin, the lost son, all of these parables all lead to the same thing. There was a time man straight away, but now we are welcome back in. And so self harm is so much more than just harming oneself physically. It’s harming oneself mentally to view yourself as less than to view yourself as worthless to view yourself as poor beggar downtrodden. You know, what does God say? Blessed are the poor in spirit, for theirs is the kingdom of heaven, right? Blessed are the meek for they will inherit the earth. Like all of these things, like you view yourself as this, God views you is so much more. And when we adopt that mentality, we go from self harm to self love, also, when we adopt that mentality toward others, and I have this Bible verse here, and this is like the big one, we read this today, and this is Sunday. We’re recording this on Sunday. So you’re getting this like 12 hours after we record, okay. As a matter of fact, it’s 1:22pm on Sunday. So this comes out. Let’s see, like 15 hours from now, basically. And we were reading this today, this was our Bible study. This was our church today, we were just having a Bible study this morning. And this is the golden rule, okay? And these are two different thoughts that I’m going to read them to you. And we always chop these up and our brains are when we’re teaching, we always chop these up. This is Matthew chapter seven. And so I’m in verse 12. And this little tagline is the golden rule. So whatever you wish that others would do to you do also to them for this as a law of the prophets, okay, we do sermons on this exact day, right, and the golden rule, the golden rule, sermons upon sermons upon sermons of Do unto others as you would have do unto you, here’s this other little verse here, enter by the narrow gate for the gate is wide, and the way is easy that leads to destruction. And those who enter by it are many for the gate is narrow, and the way is hard that leads to life. And those who find it are few. This is a whole other little snippet that we teach sermons upon sermons upon sermons of, oh, the narrow way to heaven. Jesus isn’t talking about heaven. I’m just going to like preface it. Jesus isn’t talking about this is verses 12. And verses 13 and 14, this is one thought, Okay, look at it this way, I’m going to read it to you this way. And this blew my mind. So whatever you wish that others would do, to you do also to them for this is the law of the prophets. Do this by entering through the narrow gate of the mind, for the gate is wide and the way is easy, or the thoughts are easy, that lead to destruction. And those who enter it are many or go down that road or many. But the thoughts are gate that is narrow. And the thoughts are hard that leads to life and who find it are few. What Jesus is literally saying, and I know I’m paraphrasing, I’m not adding to the Bible and trying to give you a new understanding, read 12 through 13 and 14 for yourself in Matthew chapter seven. What I’m saying is Jesus is saying do to others how you would want to be done. destruction is looking at people this wide narrow, this wide view this wide open view of looking past people looking at all the sickness all the bad, all the the unrighteous, all the the mistakes people make, right, that’s the wide view and that leads to destruction. But when you narrow down your focus, when you narrow What do you think when you think of like, you’re just taking everything in versus a narrow focus on something, when you narrow down that focus on someone and you just choose to look at the good that brings life, and you start to treat people in a way you yourself would want to be treated. And that is self love as you’re loving someone else’s self versus harm. So our question this week is this. What way? Do you show yourself, love? What is the best way that you can show your self self love? And this is this is rhetorical you You’re welcome to add us on Instagram or Twitter or Facebook, at underscore TRP podcast, I’m pretty much everything you’re welcome to kind of shoot us your message there drop us an email male at the reckless pursuit. com, we would love to start up a conversation with you and go to nomads. And we can talk about this very question or can be rhetorical. And just ask yourself that question just in your mind. But how do you how can you better show yourself self love? Put the Bible down now if you’re, you’re swinging it around, guys, you have anything you want to say before? Okay, go ahead.

Elaine Johnston 40:14
I just want to also remind everyone that there is a song called it’s all worth living for by Levi the poet I know we had mentioned him previously, in this episode about his situation and his father committing suicide, you know, several years ago and that’s an active thing that he advocates for his you know, he’s a big part of to write love on her arms. He’s a big advocate for, you know, living and loving like Jesus and spreading the message of hope and love through spoken word and poetry. And you know, he’s one of my favorite artists, one of our dreams, or one of my biggest dreams is have him on the show, actually, and talk about some of these things. But he came out with this spoken word piece a couple years ago, and it’s 10 minutes long. But it’s it is so good. It’s for those people who have those depressive thoughts for have those Suicidal Tendencies who are questioning? Is life actually worth living for? Do I actually matter? Do I actually have a purpose? And I highly encourage you even if you’re not asking those questions, if you know someone who is or even if you just love, deep thought and poetry, I highly recommend to go listen to the song. And better yet, one of the coolest things about this song is whenever Levi was putting together the music video for this, he actually had people send in their favorite moments of life. There’s, there’s videos of, you know, people’s wedding day, there’s videos of people’s, you know, coming together with their families and friends and just different aspects. You know, if when you listen to this song, if you just read the lyrics, like it talks about the it’s all worth living for drinking coffee for you drinking coffee with people at two in the morning, or, you know, it’s worth living for because of weddings and family and being there even in the hard moments. And like I said, the coolest thing about this music video is it it’s segments of both his life and a bunch of random strangers lives. And I just highly encourage you to go watch the video, listen to the song, read the lyrics. And we’ll actually have this in the show notes below

Cody Johnston 42:20
the video in the show notes. And the last thing here is I just want to to remind anyone who is ever had a suicidal doc who is going through depression or some kind of just a mental weight on you, you’re not a burden, you’re not a burden to those around you. Even your worst are not a burden. It may be burden some but it’s not yours alone to carry. And don’t say silence because there are people who have Elaine and I are here for you. We are anyone in our group would be happy to bend over backwards to be there for you. You’re not alone, because it is worth it. I think we’re just going to end there.


• In what way can you better show yourself love?

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