How to Talk About Deconstruction with Your Loved Ones

With all the talk about deconstruction, we want to show you how to talk about deconstruction with your loved ones. It’s not always an easy experience, but we know this conversation is worth having.

And it can be a scary thing to go through alone. Not only do you find yourself questioning everything you’ve ever believed in but you have to try and convey what you’re going through with others. This can be an even harder thing to do if those you love have not yet experienced the process.

Deconstruction, a messy yet beautiful process, is something that we all experience at some point in our lives. Whether it’s deconstructing your religious beliefs, ideas about politics, or opinions about worldly issues, we all experience a time of growth and reflection.

I mean, how can you explain what you’re feeling when you don’t even know what you’re feeling? Why are you deconstructing? How are you deconstructing? When did this start? What are you trying to learn? Who are you seeking advice from? Where did you get the idea to even deconstruct? These are all questions you have to fight with yourself about as well as the pressure of trying to explain all of this to others.

Though deconstruction isn’t a new concept, it has been a hot topic for the past couple of years. It’s one of the main things that we talk about on our show. In fact, it’s so prevalent that we have a specific tab on our website solely dedicated to it! And while it’s been a popular subject with our guests and listeners, we realize something was missing from the conversation. We have call-in episodes from people sharing their experiences. We’ve interviewed several guests about it and Cody and I have even shared our own experiences. But you want to know what’s truly missing? How to talk about deconstruction with your loved ones.

Anytime you question your beliefs it can be daunting to express those questions with your family, friends, church, etc. But the conversation is incredibly worth having. Starting completely over is always a scary task. That is why many people closet deconstruct. People carry way too much baggage around and it’s time to let go of the weight that is dragging you down.

One of the best ways to talk with our loved ones about our experiences is by implying being honest. First, being honest with ourselves and then being honest with those around us. When we recognize that those who truly love us and support our decisions are the ones we can trust, it takes the pressure off the conversation.

Sometimes our greatest fears about heavy conversations come from our perceptions of how we think the conversation will end. I know it seems easier to open up to a stranger online than it is to those closest to you. But don’t let your perceptions dictate a false narrative. Your friends and family love you. Those who truly care about you care about your well-being and will support you in your efforts to be your best self.

So invite your friends over for coffee and stay up until 2 a.m. Make it a point to talk with your family even after the holidays are over. Sit with your spouse and share your heart with them. Simply start the conversation with transparency from where you are currently at. Don’t be afraid to reach out. You might be surprised to find that they’re actually questioning the world around them too.

*This week, we are talking author of Apparent Faith with Karl Forehand, on how to talk about deconstruction with your loved ones. Karl shares his experiences with his own deconstruction story and how it has strengthened his family. Deconstruction isn’t always easy but this conversation is worth having.