Ever said “yes” to something even though deep down you wanted to say “no”? Have you ever told someone “maybe” just to appease the person but you actually knew you were going to say “no” all along? Well, if it’s not a Heaven’s yes, then it’s a Hell no!
Why You Shouldn’t Have to Say Yes Every Single Time
Okay, here’s the deal. Many people have the false idea that they have to jump and say “yes” to every opportunity that comes their way.
Maybe they feel the need to volunteer for every activity at their local Church because they think that’s what Jesus would do. Or maybe they feel like they have to go to every social event because they don’t want to offend their friends. Whatever the reason for always saying yes, people have some false convictions about the word “no”. I say false convictions because they’re not actually convictions at all. The actual feeling stems from obligation and fearing of offending others. But I am here to tell you that if it’s not a “Heaven’s yes, then it’s a Hell no”.
Now, I understand this may be a quirky wordplay but I’m serious, y’all! If you feel like you have to say “maybe” and beat around the bush to appease others, those aren’t healthy relationships. I’m not saying that everyone who asks you to do the favor is only in it for themselves. But if you fear losing relationships because you can’t say “no” those aren’t the relationships you need to be in. If a friend or family member is offended because you didn’t want to attend their event, there is a serious problem. On the other hand, there may be a perceived offense but it’s only on your end. In fact, if more people learned the word “no” there would actually be a whole heck of lot less offense going around!
What Would Jesus Do?
They say honesty is the best policy so I want to be 100% honest with you:
You cannot be all the things to all the people all the time.
I’m serious! It’s absolutely okay to take time for yourself. I know that if you are reading this, you have a conscious. And if you’re a Christian, you often ask yourself, “WWJD?”. But sometimes the very thing Jesus would do is say “no” and take time for himself.
Did you know that Jesus rested? Jesus didn’t always perform miracles. He wasn’t always available for other people. He took time for himself to meditate, pray, and get alone with Himself and God. And you know what? Jesus would tell you that if you feel bogged down or overwhelmed to start taking action. If you need to say “no” to a social event because you need time with your family, that’s not selfish. If a pastor or a friend is offended by that, then they are the selfish one! The people who can’t take the word “no” without offense is actually the selfish person in the relationship.
Why You Should Say No
I say all this because many people waste so much of their precious time trying to please others. And that causes a lot of anxiety, depression, and burnout. Why say “maybe” if you know you’re going to flake out at the last second? Why say “yes” when you begrudgingly want to say no? The
My friend, if it’s not a Heaven’s yes, then it’s a Hell no.
And if it is a Hell no, don’t beat around the bush. When you aren’t honest just to save face, you are wasting your time as well as your relationships. So the next time an opportunity comes your way, really ask yourself if it’s productive for both you and the person asking.
This week, Cody and I sat down to discuss the power of no and why it’s essential to know when to say no to others. Of course, there are times to say yes and go out of your way to help people. But if it’s at the expense of doing it out of obligation and it’s not productive, it’s a total time waster and unnecessary. You can find our conversation here.
We also mention one of our favorite books, Essentialism by Greg McKeown. This is a great book for recognizing the essential moments in our lives. Not only is this book applicable to Church events or family matters, but it also applies to opportunities in business as well! We highly recommend snagging a copy! Here’s our affiliate link below! 👇🏻